I am beyond exhaustion lately that's why I haven't posted. There is always a lot going on in my life. I can normally handle it but because I am trying to lose weight, get my finances and life under control things I can normally deal with seem to get on my nerves and make me easily irritated. I am also trying to quit having mocha frojoes which are a frozen espresso chocolate milk drink that I LOOVVVEE. However they are 4.25 per drink and have about 1000 calories in it and I drink one a day. So you do the math that's like 2 pounds a week just in coffee. Since I started drinking them like 2 years ago I gained 50 pounds or more. So this is my 3rd day without a frojoe and I feel like I am going to kill someone. But I am trying to look at the long term plan and where I want to be in a year. My goal is to lose 100 pounds by Jan 2015. I'm tired of feeling crappy about myself and not wanting to do things with friends and family because of my weight. Or worry about buying clothes that I like and not have to go to a million different places because they don't have my size. I'm sick of having such low self esteem that I don't even want to date or even try to look sexy. At this point I would rather not have anyone look at me then call attention to myself by dressing sexy. I feel like my weight has contributed greatly to my depression and anxieties. So I decided that I'm worth way more then what I give myself credit for. I need to start fighting to get true self back. I dedicated a whole section in my daily binder to my lifestyle change. I have logs for food, mood, fitness, goals and inspiration. I know I have said this before but this time I am really serious about it. I cant not keep going down the path I have been. My great grandfather died at the age of 66, my grandfather at the age of 55 and my dad at the age of 53 all of heart issues. I know that its going to be along hard road and that's why I am trying to build and make sure I have a strong support system to help me thru it. No one can battle a war alone.
This is what I look like now This is what I want to look like
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